Why were the ancient Egyptians so obsessed with building the pyramids?
Egyptian pyramids are significant for their burial tombs, their resurrection, and their worshippers[t1]
Pyramids are defined to be smooth or rigid slopes usually called tombs, sculptures, or platforms used for a temple. They are indeed famous within a global study (Swelim). More paragraph development needed. Prepare you reader for this assertion. Integrate your question first and connect it with your analysis. Be sure that they relate. Nevertheless, Egyptian pyramids are significant for their burial tombs, their resurrection, and their worshippers.
Aldred, Cyril. The Egyptians. New York: Thames and Hudson, 1984.
T[t2] his source was useful because it explain the complexity it took to build the pyramids. It helped me demonstrate a geometric figure of the pyramid. It goes into detail in what it took to develop the pyramid. It also explains the shape of the pyramid. In my essay, I would use this source , explaining the creation of the pyramids. Does it relate to why there were so obsessed? Yo need a direct quote that’s relevant to your research question for each entry.
Asimov, Isaac. The Egyptians. Houghton Mifflin Company Boston, 1967.
I will use this source to describe what leader created which pyramid. It defines pyramids and announces that it is a Greek term. It describes the appearance of the pyramid. How long it took to build certain pyramids?[t3] What all it takes to stable the pyramid? [t4] In my essay, I would use this source also in my second paragraph to explain the introduction to the pyramids. The sources must speak to your research question.
Britannica Encyclopedia: Academic Edition. “North Pyramid,” http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/419448/North-Pyramid. [t5]
This source explains the North- Pyramid as being a tomb[t6] . It demonstrates the appearance/architecture. This source will be used in my third paragraph as my first point on why were the ancient Egyptians so obsessed with building the pyramids. And the north-pyramid will be my example on the tomb. Relevance?
Dunn, Jimmy. “A Short Introduction to the Pyramids of Egypt.” Tour Egypt. (1996): http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/pyramidintroduction.htm. [t7]
This source is useful because it gives an introduction of the pyramids. It gives a description of the pyramids. How the pyramids were built? [t8] It describes the dimension of the pyramids. I will use this source for the second paragraph explaining the creation of the pyramids. [t9]
Dykstra, Darrell. “Pyramids, Prophets, and Progress: Ancient Egypt in the Writing of Ali Mubarak.” Journal of the American Oriental Society 114, no. 1 (Winter 1994): 54-65. VERY GOOD J!
In this article it [t10] demonstrates the writing on the pyramid, this writing is called, “Mubarak.” This source also explained how they[t11] worship the writing on the pyramids. This source explains my research question on why were the ancient Egyptians so obsessed with building the pyramids. It could go in my fifth paragraph as another new point.
“Egypt: Secrets of an Ancient World.” National Geographic. http://www.nationalgeographic.com/pyramids/pyramids.html.[t12]
This source explains who built the pyramids. It also gives facts on the different pyramid[t13] . It gives a description and shows maps and images of the pyramid. This source is helpful to me because it gives me a better understanding mentally and physically. Of what? This past sentence lacks information.
Janssen, Pierre, Tom Little, and Terence Blunsum. Egypt: The World in Color. Great Britain: Follett Publishing Company, 1967.
This source was useful because it explains some of the pyramids that the Egyptians created. It explains the history, customs, and traditions that took place. It[t14] also explains how Egyptians had the desire to work on pyramids. It explains the Egyptian’s obsession on creating pyramids. And demonstrates what the Egyptians had to contribute with the pyramids.[t15] I will use this source for the second paragraph to also explain the creation of the pyramids.
“Mystic Places – The Great Pyramids.” World-Mysteries.com. (2009): http://www.world-mysteries.com/mpl_2.htm.
[t16] I will use this source to explain my first point on what makes Egyptian pyramids so significant. This source will explain my third paragraph on burial tombs. The source demonstrates monuments and tombs for the leaders when they get buried. It[t17] also gives measurements of the pyramids.
Nantambu, Kwame. “Who Built the Pyramids and Why?” (Spring 2002): http://www.trinicenter.com/kwame/2002/Apr/212002.htm.[t18]
In this source it [t19] gives a brief definition on pyramids. This source is useful because it gives an introduction of the pyramids. How the pyramids were built? [t20] It describes the dimension of the pyramids. I will use this source for the second paragraph explaining the creation of the pyramids.
Rawlinson, George. History of Ancient Egypt. Vol. 2. Boston: S. E. Cassino, 1882.
[t21] I will use this source to explain my fifth paragraph because it talks about [t22] the pyramid being religious to the people. It states how the people worship the gods through the pyramids. Also, the writing that is displayed on the pyramids is important to know when the people worship the gods. These are other points on why were the ancient Egyptians so obsessed with building the pyramids.
Swelim, Nabil. “The Pyramids of Egypt: The Meaning of a Pyramid.” Bradshaw Foundation. http://www.bradshawfoundation.com/pyramids_of_egypt/index.php. Is there a date for this source?
This source was useful because it states that pyramids are a sight to see. It gives a meaning of pyramids. It tells why the pyramids are so famous worldwide. It [t23] explains the different portions and sections in the pyramid. It also explains the significance of the pyramid.
Upshur, Jiu-Hwa, Janice J. Terry, James P. Holoka, Richard D. Goff, George H. Cassar, eds. World History. Australia: Thomson Wadsworth Inc., 2005, 7.[t24]
In this source it [t25] describes the pyramids to be sculptures. Also, it describes the pyramids as central homes of royalty, the life after death[t26] . The first sentence would be used in my first paragraph as an introduction. The second sentence would be used in my second paragraph about burial tombs.
West, Philip T., and T.M. Stinnett. “Of Schools and Pyramids.” The Elementary School Journal 76, no. 2 (Winter 1975): 63-69.
I will use this source to explain to the resurrection of the pyramids. I will [t27] also use this source to explain obstacles and steps it takes for the resurrection. Who all is involved in this event and why? This [t28] would be in my fourth paragraph to explain why were the ancient Egyptians so obsessed with building the pyramids.
[t2]Flush your annotations to the left margin. They appear centered here. The same for our sources.
[t4]Ditto. Express questions completely.
[t7]Is this a journal entry? Revisit CMS.
[t9]Redundant. You’ve noted this aspect throughout.
[t13]Choppy sentences. Aim for conciseness. Consider combining to achieve it.
[t16]Revisit CMS. You must note who publishes these sites .
[t17]Choppy. Develop your annotations.
[t19]Awkward. Eg., This sources gives. . .
[t20]Redundant. Also, this is not a question. It’s also incomplete.
[t21]This book has a volume? Revisit CMS.
[t23]Combine to achieve conciseness.
[t24]Revisit CMS. Cite the specific chapter that you’ll use.
[t25]See previous comments.